Spiritual, What Does That Even Mean?
Over a decade ago I asked the same question in a friends car, in my grandmothers driveway, on parole, with my life in a total mess. My best friend and I were in a discussion about the 12-steps and how he thought they might be beneficial to a guy like me. He had mentioned that these steps were spiritual in nature many times before. Being the know-it-all I am, I guess I just hadn’t been listening. (Why listen when you know it all, right?) Something was different that night. When I heard the word spiritual I can clearly remember telling my friend, “If you’re talking about Jesus and all of that crap, I don’t think I’m buying.”
You see, like I’m sure many of you have felt, I couldn’t separate the word spiritual from the word religion. To me, a kid raised in the Bible belt, these two went hand-in-hand. This was just some more of that old church talk. It was just another one of those words that church people used to make themselves sound holier than thou. Some of that stuff that had no place outside of a church building. It was what “brother so-and-so” would talk about with “brother so-and-so” as they walked to the potluck with a covered dish of Jello Dream. This was a word that went along with suits and ties and had nothing to do with the real world. It was just another part of the pie in the sky doctrine that was really of no use to anyone with half a brain. (That’s really how I used to think)
There was just one problem with this. The dude in the drivers seat wasn’t the “brother so-and-so” type. He didn’t eat Jello Dream from covered dishes at potlucks. I had known him for years and he wasn’t one of “those people.” He had lived the same life as me. Yet here he sat, a changed man. He was different. He had a sureness and spirit about him that I had never seen before. He had a calmness and serenity that was attractive.
Fast forward to today. Now it’s me making people cringe with the word spiritual. This cringe usually takes place in one of two ways. The first is with the folks who are like I was. They can’t separate the word from religion and they don’t really want anything to do with that. Then there’s the second. This group will ask me questions about the program at Neartown. Questions like; are you a faith based program or, do you preach the Gospel to those guys? The cringe with them comes when I make the comment, “No, we are a spiritual program, not a religious program.”
Vine Deloria Jr. said, “Religion is for people who’re afraid of hell. Spiritually is for those who’ve been through it.” Well there was no question that by the time I made it to my friends car, in my grandmothers driveway, on parole with my life a total mess, I had definitely been through hell.
As we sat there that night, my friend began to explain to me in a super simple, super tangible way, just what he meant. He began to spout off a list of character traits which I possessed in abundance. Dishonest, rude, inconsiderate, selfish, greedy and the list could go on and on. He then began to explain to me that at the most basic level, I should seek to do the opposite of these traits. He said where I was dishonest, I should try to be honest. Where I was rude and inconsiderate, I should become considerate. Where I was selfish, I should seek out selflessness. In combat of the greed in my heart, I should become more giving. As he explained these things to me, I began to see that he wasn’t saying I had to have some certain belief system. It was simply how I interact with humanity, what I pack into the stream of life.
My good friend then threw a fast ball which hit me right in the gut. Once again, he aroused suspicion in me. His words made me feel like I was just having the old “bait and switch” pulled on me. All of the contempt, doubt and fear which I had felt as a child, teen and young adult flooded me. As he talked about this change which needed to occur in my life, he told me I couldn’t do it on my own. He began to explain to me that my so called will power wouldn’t
save me from these character traits which were in essence killing me. He told me that lack of power was my dilemma and I would need a power greater than myself if I ever hoped to move on and live happy, joyous and free. Then he did it. Then he mentioned that word. That one little word which has caused wars. That word which has divided. That word which made me boil. He said the word “God”. There it was. I knew it. But then, much to my surprise, he quickly began to explain that I didn’t have to have the old-school fundamentalist view that I was so against. He told me that to make a beginning, all I needed to do was to believe that I wasn’t God and that there was something out there more powerful than me.
On that concept, my journey began. Over the past 12 years I have realized that the god I was so against, the god I had so much contempt toward, the god I was in full flight from, wasn’t really God at all. I have since been introduced to a loving God. Not the all powerful tyrant who is poised to strike at any moment, lashing out in anger at the people of this world sending them to an eternal barbecue where they would be the main dish. Nope, I have met the God of forgiveness and mercy. The God which lavishes in the spirit. The God who wants to use an old heathen like me to be part of this new thing which is taking place all around us. Let me tell you guys, for a dude like me, that is THE GOOD NEWS! That is something I desperately want to be part of.
So over the next several posts, we are going to try to break spirituality down and put it into words. Talk about a mountain of task. I have recruited a couple of very wise friends to embark on this journey with me. To share with you guys what we truly believe are the keys to the Kingdom.
As I wrap this up, I want to quickly address two different groups of you. First the devout believer who thinks this topic flirts with heresy. Please just continue to read as we post new articles. I believe you will see that nothing we say will go against what you probably already believe. My hope is that you will deepen your faith. You will find a newness in your connection with the divine. That your will grow in both spirit and truth and become more and more like what you were created to be. Now, for the second group, the group who was like me. Those of you who hear words like “spiritual” or “God” and check out. I hope that you will continue to read as well. I hope that you will find fullness, joy, peace and connection as you look at things through a new pair of glasses. What do you have to loose? Contempt? Bitterness? Dishonesty? Resentment? You could be just like me and find the thing which your inner self has longed for for years.